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Cutting Is Hard To Quit

Pain can be an addiction.

I m 13-years-old and I ve been cutting myself for a while now. People just don t understand why I do it. All my friends say to quit but if you have ever cut for a while you know that it s not that easy. Normal people don t understand that the pain is addicting. People around me ask why I cut. I ve only told a few people and they just don t get that I don t want to tell them. I ve told my friends that I ve stopped. I still cut every now and then. It s hard to stop. The pain... It s like a drug.... It makes me feel better..... I can t describe it. It s just I can t stop. The pain makes me happier. I know it sounds stupid but it s hard to explain. My friend says that I m doing it for attention that s why nobody knows I still cut. I actually don t want the attention I hate it. I wish people would stop asking me stupid questions. She just doesn t get it. I hate being the way I am if I don t cut. My friends hate that I used to cut and they bring it up every time we have a fight. My life has just been a wreck since I moved. It s just been one disaster after another. I ve tried to talk to my parents about my problem but I can t tell them that I ve been cutting. I can t tell them I m depressed. I put on a smile around them to make it seem as if there is no problem. I m not sure how much longer I can do it for. I need to tell somebody but nobody I know understands. Nobody sees why I cut and why I can t stop... Nobody... all people say is to quit and that I m doing it for attention. No I m not Have any of these people that say people cut themselves for attention ever stopped to think that the cutters actually need help? I need professional help that I can t get yet. That s why I self-mutilate. I can t talk to anybody about my pain and this is my way of solving it.

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